TheBernharts.com

“Maybe it’s because you keep farting and the noise is scaring it away?”

Neil — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 17:04:33 +0000

“Maybe it’s because you keep farting and the noise is scaring it away?”

– Brody (explaining to me why the neighbor’s cat ran away from us)

“Beer”

Neil — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 04:17:28 +0000

“Beer”

– Brody (naming a ‘food or drink that is brown in color’ in the game Outburst)

Well, it does rhyme!

Neil — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:58:55 +0000

Brody: Let’s play the rhyming game
Mom: OK, you go first.
Brody: goat / oat
Me: straw / paw
Mom: money / honey
Brody: grass / ass
Mom: *snort* *giggle*
Me: Yes, those are technically rhyming words.

loverboy

Neil — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 05:42:36 +0000

Brody: Mom… is tomorrow “love you” day?

Fair Warning

Neil — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:37:26 +0000

Mel: (helping get the toilet ready) Here you go.
Brody: OK, you better walk away… I’m gonna be naked.

Jumpin’ Cats!!

Neil — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 20:58:57 +0000

Brody: Wanna hear a story?
Mel: Yeah, sure!
Brody: The cat jumped on the people … The end!

Careful what you wish for

Neil — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 17:36:06 +0000

Brody: (last night while talking about going back to preschool in the morning) … I don’t like Miss Lupe!!!
Me: I don’t think you mean that. You wouldn’t say that to her would you?
Brody: (while dropping him off at school today, turns to Miss Lupe with tears and snot on his face)… I don’t like you!!!
Me: um, he doesn’t really mean that…

hurry up!!!

Neil — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 16:49:21 +0000

Brody: Dad… where are you?
Me: I’m in the bathroom, taking care of business.
Brody: (one minute later) Dad… are you done yet?
Me: No Brody, I am not finished yet.
Brody: Are you wiping your butt?

Just Being Honest…

Neil — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:47:22 +0000

Melanie (saying goodnight and giving kisses at bed time): Good night Brody… I had a fun day today… I love you so much
Brody (whispering): I farted…

focus focus

Neil — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 04:27:03 +0000

Brody: I’m a bagician
Mel: A what?
Brody: Bagician
Mel: Oh, a magician
Brody: Yup… Abra Badabrah…. Focus, Focus…
(he then proceeds to dance, which apparently is his magic trick)

He’s German?

Neil — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 19:19:57 +0000

Me: (while watching an Angel’s game) GO MIKE TROUT!!!
Brody: GO MIKE KRAUT!!!
Me: (giggles because I do it on purpose to hear him say it wrong)

Future Olympian

Neil — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 05:19:43 +0000

Me: Brody, you have to eat some salad if you want to be in the Olympics.
Brody: I already in Olympics.
Me: Oh yeah, what sport… Sitting in a chair?
Brody: Nope… Backwards Chocolate.

Cracker Jacks

Neil — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 00:57:36 +0000

While watching a baseball game on TV, Brody was singing this tune: “take me to ballgame… dah dah dah rowd. dah dah dah peanuts and cracker jacks… I don’t know what cracker jacks are. I wanna go to Angel’s game…”

Got Milk?

Neil — Sat, 19 May 2012 04:16:44 +0000

Brody: Daddy, where do strawberries come from?
Me: They come from a little plant. Do you know where apples come from?
Brody: No… tell me.
Me: Apples come from trees. Big trees and the apples hang off of the branches.
Brody: And, and, and…. milk comes from cows… from out of their butts.

It Helps You Run!

Neil — Thu, 10 May 2012 03:02:41 +0000

Melanie was at the local Target recently, picking up a prescription… when Brody grabbed a box of tampons off of the shelf. The box had a picture of a girl running.

Brody: Look mom! Let’s get this! Pleeeeeease! It helps you run! Look!
Melanie: ………

So long MCA

Neil — Sat, 05 May 2012 00:44:15 +0000

I must admit, when I heard the news this morning that Adam Yauch, aka MCA of the Beastie Boys, died at the young (too young) age of 47 … it shocked me because I thought that he’d beaten his cancer. Then, as the day slowly passed by I found myself in a funk. I kept going to the web to read what I could about the news, I played some Beastie Boys on my iPhone, and I reminisced about how much their music has been a part of my life.

Memories of parties with friends while License To Ill and Paul’s Boutique blared on the stereo. Always having a B-Boys CD in my car… and nowadays, never missing their music on my iPod or iPhone.

My kids were, and still are, exposed to them on a regular basis. Lauren used to ask me to play the “drop song” (Intergalactic) while driving in the car because; she loved the part where the music stopped and they said “mmmmmm, drop!” She’s now 16 and not too long ago texted me that she loved the song Funky Boss because those are basically the only lyrics in the whole song. A few months back I played some B-Boys songs for Brody (3 years old) which included So Whatcha Want, Body Movin’, and Intergalactic. Afterwards I asked him which one he liked best… he said “All of them!!!”

In 2007, Melanie and I were lucky enough to be able to see them live at the Greek Theater. It was a super fun show, and we had such a fun time.

This will surely keep the Beastie Boys from ever creating any new music. I can only hope that they have some unreleased work that includes MCA that will be released some day. There’s no doubt that they’ve always been a 3-man team, and that they’re just not the Beastie Boys sans Adam Yauch with his gruff voice and unique delivery and style.

Honestly, I don’t think there is another musical act that has been such an important part of my life. Beastie Boys For Life

Soft Bed

Neil — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:30:39 +0000

Brody: Daddy, it’s getting dark outside.
Daddy: Yup, Mr. Sun is going to bed now. He’s had a long day being up in the sky, and he wants to go to sleep in his bed.
Brody: Noooo, he doesn’t have a bed, he just has a cloud.
Daddy: Ooooh, that must be really soft.
Brody: Yup it is.

Sound Science

Neil — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 23:34:51 +0000

Brody: Daddy, when you talk, I can hear you… and when you don’t talk I can’t hear you.

Shrimp Saga

Neil — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:44:50 +0000

Brody: Cookers cook shrimp and we eat them in our mouths and they say “Hey… who’s eating us?”

Bigger Belly

Neil — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 16:45:40 +0000

Brody: Daddy, you still growing?
Me: Me? No, I’m not growing anymore. I’m probably getting shorter, but it’s making my belly bigger.
Brody: Your belly is bigger from your shirts?
Me: Not from my shirts as much as from all the beer.
Brody: …. Apple juice is making my belly bigger.