Brody: I like Fridays the best, they’re my favorite day.
Me: Yes, I love Friday too!
Brody: I don’t like the first day of school.
Me: Me neither, Mondays are not fun.
Brody: I wish it was only Friday…. so it would be Friday, weekend, weekend, Friday, weekend, weekend, Friday, weekend, weekend…
Me: I like that plan!
Me: (during bath-time) pour some water on your bangs.
Brody: Bangs? What are bangs?
Me: The hair up front here.
Brody: Why are they called bangs?
Me: Good question. That’s what hair dressers call them.
Brody: Wait… hair dressers? Like, they dress your hair?
Me: Please don’t say fart when other people are around.
Brody: Only at home, or when no one else is around?
Me: Right, because some people don’t like that word.
Brody: What about at school?
Me: NO! Not at school!!
Brody: What if it’s only inside my brain?
Me: Yeah, inside your brain is OK.
Brody: Dad… girl* was rubbing her butt on my leg today!!
Me: Really??? Did you ask her to stop doing that?
Brody: No… I forgot.
(*name removed to protect identity)
Me: Who’s there?
Me: Chicken who?
Brody: I don’t like you!!
Me: Wait…. what?
Brody: Don’t worry… it’s just a joke!!